Or we can rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.
Life is all about perception.
What I have learnt over the last couple of days is that so few people understand reality and find it easy to get clouded in judgement and obsess over minuscule problems. Myself included!
Today is the 2 year anniversary of my father’s death. To some that may be a terrifying and sad occasion, but in fact the sun is shining and it’s a day that reminds me to take good care of myself.
It’s a day that reminds me that we need to feel how the warmth of the sunshine falls on our skin, close our eyes and be thankful for the simple noises of a car passing by or birds singing. Because we are alive.
I may have lost my way time and time again over the past 2 years, but I am beginning to find who I really am.
They say you don’t really grieve until two years afterwards anyway.
When you find yourself in that situation where you are blinkered to the good things in life you need to take a step back and breathe. Remember the good people in your life.
Often we focus too deeply on the handful of bad people and discard the insane number of incredible ones. Borderline Personality Disorder is something that enhances this sevenfold.
But I’m working towards recovery and I’m learning.
In order to recover we need to listen, learn and practice.
When we feel like we’re at rock bottom again, it doesn’t mean we have gone backwards.
What I find is that we have millions of mountains to overcome, we haven’t gone backwards, we have just reached the foot of the next mountain in our path, and the only way is up.
All these bad people or situations we encounter along the way will merely be a blot on the paper of the emotionally inspirational story we are embarking upon and writing with our lives.
Think of all the people who have wronged you in the past, now realise that you probably can’t even remember half of them, and the other half you may not even remember what they’ve done to you.
So in that moment where you feel targeted – whether it’s a one off, you’ve fallen out with a friend or family member or you have been abused or bullied long term, one day, these people won’t mean a thing to you.
We often band around the term “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” but there’s a reason why we do. Because it means something.
The more you overcome these mountains, the more you learn, the more you experience and the more the little things stop bothering you as much.
Don’t let people grind you down, because one day everything could change so dramatically that these insignificant blots become just that. Insignificant.
So many people in the world see themselves as superior, self righteous and feel the need to project their own pain onto others. Before you do that, take a step back to put your issues into PERSPECTIVE.
I’ll go back to the title of this post.
Now, do you want to hate the thorns or embrace the roses?
You control your own destiny, it’s up to you whether you want it to be a happy one.
But also never forget that you can’t keep everyone happy, and you can’t fix everyone. As long as you hold your own balanced perspective on life and try your best to be as good a person as you can be, then you can’t go wrong.
It’s not your fault that other people fall away from perspective and put their blinkers on.
And remember, especially if you suffer from BPD, then damage limitation is an incredible thing. The less we know, the less we hurt. The internet can be a very damaging place so keep your circle tight, and make sure you don’t over analyse because that’s when our perspective really goes awry.